High Velocity (Superhero Wedgies) Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Filmed in Front of a Live Studio Audience



The light dissipated as Specter, Entropy, and the Hawk teleported to and looked around the construction site. They had expected Duplica back some time ago, and had decided to investigate given her disappearance. The construction site looked normal save for a pile of dirt that had been knocked down recently. They all looked around. That’s when the Hawk noticed the distinct sound of a mechanical whirring in the distance.

“That way,” she pointed.

The heroes walked toward the noise before finally finding the cement mixer still active with Duplica’s butt and legs sticking out of it. Specter cursed as the Hawk ran up to the machine and flipped the switch to turn it off. Entropy then grabbed Duplica telekinetically and yanked her out of the cement mixer. Duplica fell on her butt in the dirt and started slowly swaying from side to side before falling onto her back. They all gathered around her, seeing that her head was soaked in muddy water.

“Duplica?” asked Specter with concern, “What happened?”

“Oooooooohh,” moaned Duplica, “I’m so dizzy…”

“Where’s Velocity?” demanded the Hawk.

***

“Ow!”

Velocity groaned and writhed on the floor from the impact of being roughly thrown into a metal cell with zyr wrists tied behind zyr back. They’d been tied together with white rope that caused mercifully little rope burn but didn’t help with the tightness of the tie nor the circulation issues. Zyr underwear was also unbelievably stretched out, with about five feet of singed and hole-ridden white fabric just pouring out of the back of zyr suit. It was not a dignified look.

“Velocity?” realized Wanda, with both a hint of hope and a hint of sympathy.

“Wanda?” responded Velocity.

Velocity kicked zyr legs and spun around on the floor until zyr underwear was no longer facing Wanda. Then ze forced zyrself to sit up without using zyr bound arms and tried zyr best to face Wanda with confidence and dignity.

“Wanda!” smiled Velocity, “You’re safe! Oh, thank gods...”

“They caught you?” said Wanda, worriedly.

“Yes, but I’m alright,” assured Velocity.

“You were tying to save me when they caught you,” said Wanda solemnly, “Weren’t you?”

“None of that matters!” insisted Velocity with a smile as Wanda tenderly kissed zyr forehead, “What matters is that we’re both okay! Are we the only to in this cell?”

“No,” came another voice from the other corner.

Velocity looked. It took zyr a moment, but ze recognized the woman. It was Gabrielle, former Underwear Emporium clerk who recently made a name for herself as Gadget. Velocity didn’t know how to feel. Gadget had opposed the Panda City, but ultimately left Dr. Catalyst instead of fighting the heroes. Currently, she was still a wanted criminal for her actions. Her presence here indicated that she’d continued making enemies with the super-powered criminals.

“Where’s your armor?” asked Velocity.

Gabrielle was wearing white knee socks, black leggings, and a white T-shirt. It looked like something she might wear under the mechanized suit from which she’d earned her name. This led Velocity to believe that the armor had been taken from her, but ze had to know for sure.

“Catalyst has it,” admitted Gabrielle reluctantly.

“I see,” noted Velocity, “Any idea what he’s planning?”

“Not in the slightest,” said Gabrielle, “But it doesn’t seem like he’s telling his allies everything either.”

“Great,” mumbled Velocity, “Well we’ll just have to wait and see.”

***

“This is ridiculous,” said Steel, rolling her eyes.

“He only put you in charge because he wants get into your flowy pants,” added Speedstra.

“Them’s the brakes,” grinned Fade, “Besides, you two will get to have fun as well.”

“Freeze!” came an authorative command.

“See?” added Fade, smiling wider, “Speedstra, you get to start.”

The three criminals had been standing around in broad daylight at the entrance to the Panda News Network broadcasting station. The police had been called within seconds of their arrival, and now about six police cars had pulled up and were blocking the exit down either side of the street. Among them were Officers Jennings and Aston, the former best known for standing up to Gadget during the massive superhuman battle and the latter best known for recently being thrown into a dumpster by Steel.

“All of them?” clarified Speedstra.

“All of them,” confirmed Fade.

Speedstra disappeared in a blur. Several officers, panicking at the sudden use of collider powers, began firing their weapons. Fade placed a hand on Steel’s shoulder and the two stood motionless as the barrage of bullets passed harmlessly through both of them.

“Hold your fire!” ordered Jennings.

“Damn,” cursed Aston, “Why isn’t this working?”

“Ma’am,” reported a short male rookie with an Indian accent, “What do we do about- EOW!”

“What was that, Amit?” asked Jennings with annoyance.

Jennings and Aston turned around to see Amit held helplessly aloft in the air by his red boxers. Holding him there was Speedstra, laughing to herself. Jennings and Aston both winced in sympathy. Speedstra shoved the waistband over Amit’s forehead and placed him on the ground before giving him a sharp shove to the ground. Jennings and Aston pointed their guns at Speedstra but she was gone in a second.

The next thing the two officers knew they were being pushed and pulled around every which direction by a supersonic Speedstra moving so fast they both felt like they were in a white and pink tornado. Both woman felt a tight tug on their underpants, but not nearly so bad as they were expecting. When the spinning finally stopped, Speedstra was standing on the other side of a lamppost and neither officer had their guns.

Jennings and Aston ran right at Speedstra, who stood confidently with her arms crossed. The officers ran on either side of the lamppost, and both felt and tight and unforgiving yank on their underwear so hard they both fell to their butts on the ground. Upon closer inspection, they saw that Jennings’ baggy pink underwear had been knotted to Aston’s cyan and white polka dotted underwear, which had caused them to get caught on the lamppost.

Fade and Steel both pointed and laughed from a distance. Then Fade nodded to Steel and they both turned and entered the Panda News Network station as Speedstra continued to pummel the police in the distance. They walked inside, where the lights were shut off. Cat Burglar and Joule had done their jobs right; the power was out. Two guards ran up to Fade, but she caused them to phase right through her and allowed Steel to effortlessly knock them both to the ground with a single haphazard arm swing.

This continued as they made their way to the main broadcasting room, with Steel taking care of any and all opposition as quickly as possible while Fade ignored them entirely. Eventually they arrived in the main room, where the entire camera crew was cowering in fear in the corner. Steel couldn’t help but laugh at this.

“Set the cameras up,” ordered Fade, “The power will be back on momentarily and we have a message to broadcast.”

Steel cracked her knuckles and glared at the trembling tech nerds. Then she stomped her foot and they all leapt to their feet and began setting up the cameras and broadcasting equipment. Fade took her seat at the desk where the news anchor normally sat. Stretching her arms out and enjoying the power she was exerting over everyone. She pulled out a small communicator and told Joule to reactivate the power. Within seconds, the lights were back on again.

“How long until we can start the broadcast?” asked Fade.

“Everything’s back up and running,” said a technician, “So we could do it now.”

“Do so,” ordered Fade, “Put it on the main news channel so every radio station can pick it up and broadcast it.”

The various technicians set about turning on various cameras and monitors to begin the city-wide broadcast. They pointed them all at Fade, gave her the go, and began rolling. All over Panda City, televisions were broadcasting the signal from PNN, which began with Fade’s confident smile.

“Greetings Panda City,” she began, “My name is Fade. I represent a number of superhuman individuals you citizens have learned to fear over the past few years. I’m broadcasting to let you know: this city is ours.”

***

“I’ll be damned,” realized Specter, “Fade IS real. I owe you a beer, Duplica.”

“This isn’t good,” frowned Duplica, ignoring Specter.

The Panda City Heroes had gathered around a television set to watch this broadcast. The local news network they kept running in the room 24/7 had cut away to this broadcast and they had all immediately focused on the screen.

“I can take us there,” insisted Specter.

“Not yet,” warned the Hawk, “Let’s listen. It might be a trap.”

“In particular, I have a message for the group of losers who call themselves the ‘Panda City Heroes,’” added Fade, “Give up. Stay home. You can’t win this battle. We’ve beaten Velocity and Gadget. We’re stronger than you and we outnumber-”

“No!” shouted an angry male voice from off screen.

Everyone was perplexed, from the Panda City Heroes watching the broadcast to Fade herself. She focused and intense glare to a point off camera. The cameraman must have been an experienced operator, because he turned the lens to her focal point without hesitation.
The protester had been none other than Ian, who was standing in his brown dress shoes, yellow high socks, khaki shorts, blue short sleeve button down, and green neck tie with his fists clenched. He was the only one standing, the rest of the station’s crew were on the floor in submission. Steel was standing several feet behind him, staring at him with one eyebrow raised in confusion.

“What’s that dweeb thinking?” whispered the Hawk to herself.

“Ian!” shouted Duplica in distress.

“You know him?” demanded Entropy in surprise.

The Panda City Heroes were all confused by this turn of events, but shifted their focus back to the events on the television.

“You’ll never beat the Panda City Heroes!” insisted Ian, “There might be more of you than them, you might have better powers than them, and you might even be stronger or smarter than them, but you’ll never be half the humans those heroes are! Duplica alone has enough
heroism in her to take all of you down!”

“What is this, a fan boy?” asked Fade in disgust.

“Don’t mind him,” insisted Natalie Newman, a news anchor who had been ushered in the room during the attack, “He’s just an intern. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.”

“The hell I don’t!” shouted Ian, “You’re all nothing but bullies! I have faith that the Panda City Heroes will save us and I won’t submit to you as long as I have that faith.”

Ian stood with confidence, hands on his hips, back arched, head held high. He was evidently very proud of his speech. Fade was unimpressed. She made eye contact with Steel and snapped her fingers.

Steel walked right up to Ian from behind, grabbed the back of his belt, pulled back his shorts and reached into them to grab the white waistband into which he had tucked his shirt. Steel chuckled to herself upon seeing the underwear.

“Wait, wait, wait,” panicked Ian, “No, please don’t-”

Steel placed her free hand on her hip as she swiftly raised her other high into the air. Ian’s white briefs stretched right up into the air as the lanky boy was hoisted clear of the ground in a violent lift and bounce. Ian screeched a high pitch screech as he grabbed his crotch in pain and the cotton of his briefs shot painfully up his butt. He kicked his legs futilely as his eyes crossed form intense pain and embarrassment. He could even hear the stitching in the briefs beginning to rip.

“Nice undies, nerd!!!” laughed Steel.

Ian continued to scream, yelp, grab his crotch, and kick his legs as Steel casually walked him over to Fade. The camera continued to follow the embarrassing experience as it happened, right up until the moment where Steel held Ian in the air right in front of Fade.

“Look at you,” said Fade as she stroked Ian’s chin with pity, “What a loser. Even Duplica can do so much better.”

Fade then slapped Ian hard across the face as he yelled out in pain. Fade laughed before looking to Steel.

“Hook his undies to the lighting fixture,” ordered Fade, “And leave him hanging there.”

“No, no, no, no,” begged Ian, “Come on, please let me down. No more wedgies please. I’m sorry!”

But Steel had already walked up to the nearby lighting fixture and hooked the waistband to the highest pole on it she could reach, leaving Ian swinging back and forth by his underwear as he continued to grab his pained genitals and kick his scrawny legs helplessly.

The camera watched Ian as he closed his eyes tightly and his face turned red. He had just been publicly humiliated on live television. He did what was right, and the women he opposed took away his dignity like it was nothing, exposing him for the wimp he was. The whole experience was made worse by the fact hat he had done it all to stand up for Duplica, who had surely seen his complete humiliation.

“So Duplica,” smiled Fade into the camera, “If you want to help your boy toy down, give us a visit. Bring your super friends with you, because we have Velocity too.”

Fade made a motion and the broadcast suddenly ended. The Hawk, Entropy, and Specter all turned to look at Duplica. Her face was flushed pink and her eyes were intense with anger. She was gritting her teeth and clenching her fists. She turned to look at the rest of them.

“What do we do?” she asked, holding back her anger.

“We do what we always do,” explained Entropy, “We beat the bad guys and save the day.”